Do harmonious incompatible relationship possible? This month of February, the love month, what we mostly heard are only beautiful love stories. But what about those in bad relationships?
Finding the right person is a personal choice and this is often subjective. Some of the basis are having the same views and opinions. Furthermore, of same personality, character, values and etc.
Based on your personal judgement, that person is the right one for you. Maybe, others will disagree, they find it the other way around. It is good if you found the right one. But what about if it is not? How are you going to deal with it?
Yin/Yang
In reality there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Incompatibility between two persons do really exists because women are women and men are men. These two people have different genetics, characteristics, and personality. That includes, being raised by different parents at different environment. This is the property of a Yin/Yang.
What is Yin/Yang
The Yin/Yang is the concept of two forces in the universe that are exactly opposite or contrary to each other. Both are independent but they complement and interconnected. You will learn to appreciate one because you have reference that can be compared of from the other.
Some of the examples of Yin/Yang are as follows: male and female, black and white, sun and moon, hot and cold, good and bad, etc.
The examples above are also compared to incompatibilities because they are the exact opposite of one another.
Yin/Yang comparison
To give you a very simple explanation about Yin/Yang; say “beauty and the beast”, if all we can see around are beauty and the beast is not existing. All the while, we will never know that what we are seeing is “beauty” because we have no reference or comparison from the “beast”. The same with the good and bad, if everything around us are all good, we shall never realize that it is good because there is no bad to be compared of.
With this perspective of polarity or yin/yang, you can fully understand the opposite of your personality, character, values, views and opinions. On the other hand, the person opposite from you, views the same way as you do.
Now let us apply this on how to harmonize an incompatible relationship.
Acceptance
Since Yin/Yang is the complete opposite though complement each other, so, we must learn to accept that it is natural and truly exists. In physics, the law of attraction says that opposites attract while both positives and both negatives repel.
Respect
Respect is a high regards to the the views, opinions, feelings, beliefs, rights. culture and traditions of other people. Giving respect to your love one is showing that you truly care for him/her.
Oftentimes, understanding is hard to bestow but respect is totally different. You give your respect without totally understanding one’s beliefs.
Your incompatibilities on views, opinions, feeling, beliefs, rights, culture and traditions is no longer an issue when respect comes in between. On the other hand, at the course of your relationship, there might be some changes on those mentioned above. Because later on shall surface which is better that both of you shall adapt.
Compassion
Showing understanding, concern and sympathy towards your love one is an evidence of deep love and compassion. I once asked my mother “how come you truly understand papa, in spite of his shortcomings?” Then, she replied, “papa loves us very much but only then he does not know how to show his love to us because he was not loved”. Moreover, mama explained that my father’s parents died when he was 5 years old and that nobody cared for him during his childhood. It was then, that I truly understand him.
It is better to find out the reasons for his/her shortcomings and listen from your heart. Compassion comes when you truly understand his/her limitations.
Compromise
During my adolescence period, no complaints were heard from me. I supposed my opinion was not of importance because they were of authority and powerful than me. But I came to realize that I was being exploited because I never said my piece.
In order not to be misunderstood, never keep quite of what you feel and what you believe in. Be vocal to communicate and give your opinion. Now if you don’t agree on certain matters, here comes the incompatibilities, you must lay and qualify all the pros and cons. Work on it and compromise thereafter.
Profess love
Remember when you started your relationship? you were so blindly in love and never noticed those incompatibilities. Keep nurturing that love and find ways to make him/her happy always. After all, love is a give and take and it conquers all.
Final Thoughts
Harmonious incompatible relationship is real. My marriage is not perfect, we have incompatibilities too with my husband but we have managed to be happy and inspired. Each day that passed we became stronger, better and can not imagine living without the other.
Just never give up, and desire to become a better person for your love one.
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